Two weeks into outreach in Hinche and I’m really starting to see the difference time makes. I’ve spent about 6 months in Haiti now, am staying here for another 2, and I can’t believe how much my outlook on this nation has changed. The first couple months were very difficult for me. I spent a lot of time wondering why I came, why God had let these things happen, and what my part was in all of this. I had a very judgemental and superficial attitude about Haiti and the people who live and work here. I had the let’s save Haiti mentality even if I felt otherwise, that’s what my actions said. I did very little to learn the language or acknowledge the culture as positive in any way. I tried and tried but could never get past the devastation and hurt. I demanded God to help me but wouldn’t let go and let Him. Going home after the first 3 months was bittersweet because I knew God was calling me back to Haiti for an additional 5 months and I couldn’t bear the thought of trying to normalize everything again. In Port au Prince there is trash on the street, people everywhere, constant commotion and someone always trying to get your attention. When I got home I experienced reverse culture shock; realizing where I was and where I came from was not easy. Faithfully God showed me His plan for me to return to Haiti and without a second thought I did. Over the last 3 months when we were in Port au Prince learning more about God, we spent a lot of time in the classroom. We had lots of freedom on days off to go about Port au Prince and explore. This gave me an amazing opportunity to see Haiti in a completely different way; I was actually enjoying the city and the people for the first time. Granted, the last 3 months were not easy, God was changing me and growing me in many new ways. There was a significant difference though in the way I was viewing the nation. I felt very confident in the fact that it is my choice whether I stay here or not. I believe God has called me here, He must have the plan. Bringing us back to present day Hinche. I don’t have the words to explain the change in everything I’ve experienced here. Sure, the people, the space, the land, those are physically different, but my mindset has switched along with everything else. We have been spending so much time in the community here. As always I’m side tracked with thoughts and forget to update what we are actually doing.. So. We are doing a lot of children’s ministry in the area. We have a giant property with grass and a pavilion where we share simple messages telling the love of God, and play ‘ what time is it mr. wolf’. Most of the day our team is split up and some go to outer villages and paint school buildings. That is also a great opportunity to meet people and talk about why we are here. My half of the team stay’s in the town and I love walking back behind the property into the villages. It’s only been a short time but people are already learning our names and getting used to seeing us around. My love for the people here is a big part of the change in myself. I feel genuinely excited each day to wake up and go out to see who God has for us to meet that day. Because we are so incredibly blessed here we get to make our own meals and take care of this beautiful little house each day as well. I feel completely free to let the team do what God is laying on their hearts, and they are always so good at sharing that. It’s not so much that our lives our perfect here, it’s that we are trusting in God to set our paths, and with that comes peace. We are learning daily what it means to live in community and listen to one another. I am a bit worried that after these two months we wont know how to live without each other. All this to say, we still disagree, we still misunderstand, but at the end of the day we are all here for the same reason, and that brings peace. Today in the car on the way to church, God revealed something to me that I hadn’t thought of. He reminded me how 5 months ago I was grumbling my way to church in anything I could find to wear not even looking twice at the children down the row from me. I knew very little Creole, but some words I did know were ‘ go away’, which I used flippantly to the children begging for my attention when I had very little patience. My heart was not to tell them to leave or that I didn’t want them, but that was what I was saying. I don’t think God brought that to my mind to rebuke me, but to show me how much of a difference effort and time make in getting to know a country and its people. As I sat in the car thinking about this I smiled because of the words I now know, like ‘ please’ or ‘ hold on, I need a minute’. Also because I was wearing the nicest clothes I had that were clean, and I was planning to share about the drama the students would perform. I don’t think the ministry I did for the last few months was ineffective, but there is a huge difference between doing something because you have to, and doing something because you want to. I can honestly say that right now I love what I’m doing. I am starting to see that the world has a completely skewed view of Haiti, and its ridiculous that it’s always in the news for horrible things. Seriously people, someone needs to start talking about the culture, the achievements and the insane beauty hidden on this island. I keep saying it, we all know it. Please North America, see Haiti for something other than rubble. There is an actually nation behind the headlines that has something good going for them, why is that so hard for us to see? I’m almost embarrassed defending an entire nation that doesn’t need me to defend them. All we have to do is have some faith that our God knows what he is doing with his people.
